Week 49: Wednesday – The Importance of the Village in Marriage

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What Does God Expect Of Me As A Man?

Titus 2:1-8

1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Joke:

A man was crying over a gravestone saying, “Why did you die? Why did you die?” Another man questioned him, “Did your mother just die?” “No.” “Your father?” “No.” He continues, “O, why did you die?” “Well, who died?” “This was my wife’s first husband.” – Source Unknown.

Some helpful hints for a husband who wants to see his spouse experience God’s best are posted in Daddy’s Home, by Greg Johnson and Mike Yorkey.

A husband can:

Back off (give her some space).

Be patient (don’t rush things).

Love her as you love your own body (that’s going to take some work).

Affirm her role in the family (whether she stays home or works outside the home, she’s got the most important job in the world).

Pray for her as you’ve never prayed before (because God hears our prayers).

Lower your expectations (you’re not going to see fireworks every night).

Do the little things (without expecting anything in return).

Show her she’s the most cherished woman on earth (she’ll probably faint the first time you do this).

Above all, persevere (you’re in this for the long haul).

A wise husband builds his mate’s self-esteem, realizing that the subtle words and actions of a sinful world constantly assault her sense of self-worth. He remains sensitive to her needs and is always ready to offer his support.

Encourage your wife verbally and demonstratively. Words of cheer and praise are high octane fuel that boost your wife’s emotional fuel tanks.

 

In Touch, June 18, 1993.

Two authors did a study of 90 top CEO’s in the United States to find out what made them successful. They work in all kinds of different fields: business, entertainment, television, politics and sports. They discovered they had nothing in common in terms of their backgrounds, ability or education. But they had one common denominator: all successful CEO’s were still married to their first wife. They all claimed to be happily married and were enthusiastic about the institution of marriage. The authors concluded that one of the factors of the success of these men was a good relationship with their wives.

Contrary, Sigmund Freud said years ago,

“Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I’ve not yet been able to answer the great question, ‘What does a woman want?’

Our actions speak louder than words.  Even in silence we convey messages to our wife how much we accept and love her.  Let me share THE EVIDENCES OF A SECURE AND LOVING HUSBAND WITH THESE PLEDGES HE HAS IN MIND.

1. I TAKE CONTROL OF MY LEADERSHIP IN MARRIAGE.

You see, in most marriages, men believe it’s the responsibility of the woman to set the spiritual and emotional pace. That leaves an immense pressure on her to fulfill.  And many wives grow to resent that pressure. Men should learn how to take charge and take hold of the responsibility.

2. I AM GOD’S PRIMARY INSTRUMENT OF A CONSTRUCTIVE CHANGE IN HER LIFE.

We say in our hearts to our wives, “It’s okay that you’re less than perfect. I accept you as you are. Let me love and walk with you. And over time, you’ll be transformed. You’ll become more beautiful than you already are.”

One author said it like this:

“When a man takes a woman into his home, all who know them should expect to see her flourish and grow in loveliness in the years to come.”

3. MY MISSION IS TO BE A LEADER AND NOT TO BE AN AUTOCRAT.

In order to lead, a husband entails a lot of power.  And this power will either lead your wife or dictate your wife. There’s a huge difference. Leadership takes more skill, love, understanding, and foresight. It requires time and so it means it requires a lot more patience. It is necessary to give up your rights and putting the needs of your wife first in order to win her heart and convince her to follow you. If we’re going to see our wives transformed, we’ve got to lead them – not dominate them. We’ve got to win their hearts through serving them – not demand their compliance through intimidation.   The right word for treating them is “gentleness”.

 4. I WILL VALUE HER AND NOT DISDAIN.

I Peter 3:7 says it like this:

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

Husbands should speak with courtesy when talking to our wives because words are very important to them, especially when they are wrong.

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